Seeking for happiness causes unhappiness

Most of us think we can find happiness, peace of mind, by ensuring an unbroken series of gratifications for the ever-changing desires in our lives. We do not realize it is exactly this outlook which is responsible for "dukkha," psychological suffering; that it is this seeking for happiness which causes the unhappiness.
Now let us look into this matter of desires more closely. Suppose we have a desire to achieve object A and we think this is necessary, essential for our happiness. In other words, we, the controllers, can by the action which springs from our desire, control the world outside us to achieve a certain result which, we think, will give us some happiness. Source

Students make happy-site

All of us want to have a happy life. No one wakes up in the morning thinking "I hope I will be miserable today". Many of us think that happiness is dependent on external situations like possessions, status and pleasures. Though these things can be good, often the satisfaction they bring is short term.

Scientific studies on what makes people truly and genuinely happy show the importance of 3 things:

1. Mental resilience
2. Healthy relationships
3. Finding meaning in life
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What do you really want?

One way to get a sense of what actually inspires us is to check in with how our bodies feel. If we're paying attention, we'll know which goals we're really interested in from the sensations that arise when we think about them. For example, when we hit upon something we genuinely desire, perhaps we'll feel a surge of strength in our arms, a spacious feeling in our heart, or something else. By contrast, if we're thinking about a goal that doesn't actually inspire us, perhaps we'll feel a numbness, a tension in our muscles somewhere, and so on. (Source)

Stop looking for happiness

Lasting Happiness

“Happiness is like a butterfly: If you chase it, it flies away, but when you turn your attention to other things, it comes and quietly lands on your shoulder.” [ 7 tips to be happy]

Ten tips to feel happier

The Happiness Project

Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Cindy frequently compares herself to other people. However, she feels bad no matter how the comparison turns out. If she concludes that another woman is thinner or makes more money, then she feels inferior and her self-esteem suffers. But she also feels bad when she sees that she's better off than someone who, for instance, may be going through a divorce. Then she feels guilty, worries the person will be resentful toward her and fears she could suffer the same fate. Source

Wealth will never bring you happiness

[Flickr]
No one is immune from envy. If you are a Rothschild, you can still feel yourself to be poor the minute you step on board a Russian oligarch's yacht, complete with 50ft ballroom and two swimming pools. This importance of relative, as opposed to absolute, wealth is not only a subject of interest to dry-as-dust economists. It is also very important to health. There is extraordinarily rich and diverse scientific literature that shows that it isn't material success that makes you happy and well but where you stand in the pecking order.
Source

Buy personal quality time

Working yourself to death just to maintain a posh lifestyle simply doesn't make sense. Consider cutting back on your hours and living below your means. Downgrading your life may take some getting used to but, in the end, you'll be healthier and can smile for real more often. (source)


[Source: Flickr]

Think yourself happy in 8 minutes

Quote: A significant portion of our happiness is under our control, contends the author of “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.” For example, Lyubomirsky asked subjects in a 2006 study to think about happy life events for eight minutes for three consecutive days. As a result of their efforts, the participants felt “increased life satisfaction four weeks later than they had (experienced) prior to the study,” Lyubomirsky explained to reporter Amy Novotney of The Monitor. Can thinking happy thoughts actually make people happier? Conventional wisdom seems to agree with the researcher’s findings. After being around a chronically miserable person, most readers probably reflected, “All this person does is complain and focus on the negative.” People could become happier, but there is a cost. For eight minutes a day, you need to focus on positive life events. Is this eight-minute challenge harder to accomplish than it seems? Yes, Lyubomirsky explains. Becoming happier requires discipline that is similar to staying on a diet. Even though dieters know that they should reduce eating and exercise more, actually doing these two things daily proves to be difficult. (Source)

We're happy when we're special

Quote: We adapt more slowly when a positive experience, such as a job, car, or flight to Singapore, is 1) full of surprises, 2) variable, and 3) commands our attention and appreciation. (...) Psychological scientists have reliably established that people would rather have a poorer outcome, as long as others are even worse off. For example, students prefer to have a job in which they earn $50K per year (and everyone else earns $25K) than a job in which they earn $100K per year (and everyone else earns $250K). It’s irrational, but it’s also human. (source)